How to Divorce - Three Methods

Divorce doesn't have to be a battlefield!

Navigating the end of a marriage can be an emotionally charged and complex process. Where to begin or how to file for divorce, although daunting, is relatively simple. Most courts provide the forms for DIY (aka "pro se") divorce seekers. However, choosing the right method to handle your divorce can significantly impact the experience and outcome for all parties involved. Whether you choose a pro se divorce, traditional divorce, collaborative divorce, or mediated divorce, each offers unique benefits and challenges.

Comparing the Options at a Glance:

	Traditional Divorce	Collaborative Divorce	Mediated Divorce
Length:	Longest (months to years)	Moderate (months to a year)	Shortest (weeks to months)
Cost:	Most expensive	Expensive	Least expensive
Professionals involved:	Attorneys, potential experts, witnesses	Attorneys, neutral 3rd party specialists, collaborative experts	Mediator, “advisory” attorneys (optional)
Benefits:	Structured process; attorneys advocate to ensure their client's legal rights are protected and fight to get a "winning" outcome for their client; the judge provides a clear ruling on issues such as asset division and child custody.	Less stressful; open communication and mutual problem-solving in a private setting; attorneys advocate for their client but share information with opposing counsel to reach a collaborative resolution.	Parties have greater control over the outcome; attorneys can be used in an advisory capacity but aren't required; private setting; preserves relationships. (Most courts require divorcing couples to attend mediation before a divorce can proceed through the court system.)
Drawbacks:	Less control of the final resolution; adversarial; case details become public record – loss of privacy.	Failure to reach mutual resolution will require parties to start the divorce process over with a traditional divorce using new attorneys.	Failure to reach mutual resolution will require the parties to resolve the remaining contested issues in court.
Best suited for:	High conflict cases where cooperation is unlikely or when serious issues such as abuse, deception, or complex asset disputes exist.	Cases where there is mutual trust among the parties and a commitment to work together constructively to reach resolution.	Cases where parties are willing to negotiate in good faith and full disclosure, and compromise to reach a fair resolution. Learn more about mediated divorce.

Let's dive into the details:

Traditional Divorce

The traditional divorce process, often referred to as litigation, involves both parties hiring attorneys and presenting their case in court. This process is adversarial as lawyers battle on behalf of their client to get the ultimate resolution. The process can be time-consuming, often taking months or even years to reach a final resolution. Factors such as court schedules, contested issues, and the complexity of the case can prolong the process.

This method can be the most expensive option as attorney fees, court costs, and expert witness fees can quickly add up, especially if the case is highly contentious. In contentious cases, additional parties such as child psychologists and financial analysts may be brought in to further the odds on one side or the other “winning” their case. In these situations, the costs can skyrocket, adding costs and stress (financially and emotionally).

The courtroom environment and adversarial proceedings can be emotionally taxing for both spouses, potentially exacerbating feelings of anger, resentment, and sadness during an already challenging time. This can worsen tensions and strain relationships between spouses, especially if children are involved. Additionally, court proceedings are a matter of public record, which means details about the divorce and the disputes involved may be accessible to the public, compromising privacy.

At the end of case, decisions regarding division of assets, custody, and support are often left to the judge, reducing the ability of spouses to shape the outcome in ways that align with their preferences.

Collaborative Divorce

Mediated Divorce

Which Method is Right for You?

The best divorce method depends on your priorities and circumstances. If emotions are running high and there’s significant conflict, traditional divorce may be the only viable route. For couples committed to a more amicable split, collaborative divorce or mediation can offer faster and less costly alternatives. Choosing the right method is a deeply personal decision, but being informed about your options can empower you to make the best choice during this pivotal moment in your life.

Contact Thompson Mediation and Arbitration and let us help you reach resolution.